Laura Harris, St. Stephen's Associate Director of 9th and 10th grade College Counseling, shares her guiding mantras for navigating Upper School and beyond

In savoring these last moments of summer, I often find myself drawn to the natural beauty of St. Stephen’s campus. As Dr. Harris (Theology Department Chair) and I stroll down the firetrail each evening, our energetic border collie and babbling toddler in tow, slender greenthread and Blackfoot daisy dot our path, their vibrant yellow and white blooms somehow announcing: “Not too hot for me!” These particularly hardy and heat-resistant wildflowers both belong to the Aster family, and bloom during a time of heightened anticipation as we prepare for the new school year ahead.

When our family moved to campus three summers ago from Atlanta — trading an already hot summer for an even hotter one! — the novelty of this new life chapter made me both excited and nervous, feelings that we often think of as unrelated but in fact, originate in the same part of the brain.  

And now, despite being 15 years into my professional career, I am experiencing that sense of novelty again, this time as the newest member of our SSES College Counseling team. I imagine that our new students and families might be feeling similarly — some are new to the Upper School, some new to the Upper School and St. Stephen’s, and for our boarding students, many new to Austin, Texas, and the United States.

Newness, however exciting and/or nerve-racking, brings forth simultaneous opportunities for growth and discovery. So, in that vein, as our inaugural 9th and 10th grade college counselor, I want to share some guiding mantras with our underclass students and families that I hope will resonate as we embark on the 2026-27 school year together:

Be Present

These four years will come and go quickly even if some days seem never-ending. Live in these finite moments and enjoy them. Remember that your four years of Upper School matter in and of themselves. They are not just a means to an end or a precursor to what comes next. Learning well, growing well and reflecting well here at SSES will help you to make an informed and intentional college match in the years to come. Let the integrity of that future college match be your barometer for success, because, ultimately, college is not a prize to be won but a match to be made.

Honor Authenticity

In college counseling, just like life, there is no such thing as perfection. The magic instead lies in developing genuine interests that are uniquely yours. In pursuing the types of subjects and activities that pique your curiosity, you will continue to honor both the person you are and the person you are growing to become. Our curriculum lends itself towards both breadth and depth, which gives each student the chance to pursue subject areas more singularly or in a more interdisciplinary fashion. The possibilities and their unique combinations are endless. And from an extracurricular standpoint, you may find yourself specializing in a certain area or casting a wider net of involvement. No one approach is better than another. Rather, the one that honors your particular interests and that satiates your curiosities is your best path forward.  

Just as admissions counselors are particularly savvy at recognizing students who are truly interested in the subject areas and activities that their application reflects, they are also very skilled in detecting “packaged” students who seem to be going through the motions to achieve a particular result. So in the words of Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Bloom Where You’re Planted

Bloom here: in these classes, in the context of this curriculum and grading scale, and alongside — and in collaboration with — our dedicated faculty members. Glean from the collective wisdom of your advisor, your teachers and your older peers. That will mean turning down the proverbial noise when it comes to social media or unsolicited advice from those who do not know you or St. Stephen’s well. Texas wildflowers are exceptionally hardy to extreme temperatures and rocky soil. Like them, you will grow to overcome challenges and develop resilience that will prepare you well for life both in and beyond this place. 

Grow in Your Own Time and at Your Own Pace

Though we will all work together to make sure everyone is considering important questions and meeting certain milestones, there is also inherent variation and different inflection points for each student. Growth often happens in spurts and bursts and is not always linear. It is varied and iterative, just like the college counseling process. And, just like intricate blooming cycles, the college counseling process does not happen overnight but builds upon itself piece by piece, developing over days that become weeks that become trimesters that become years.

Emily Dickinson once wrote, “The brain is as wide as the sky.” So, whatever you do, remember to give yourself the freedom to explore. The path to college does not involve walking a tightrope.    

Trust the Process

Part of committing to a pedagogically appropriate college counseling process means not getting ahead of yourself. What your Common App Personal Statement will be about or how many total advanced classes you end up taking over the course of four years is a current mystery. And that’s OK — they should be! The compound growth that happens within four years of high school makes it impossible to know now what will only be revealed in due time.

We can, however, embrace this moment and entertain the types of questions that are most pertinent at this 9th/10th juncture: What sorts of academic subjects do you like the most right now and why? What is something you like to do outside of class? How might you continue to challenge yourself accordingly and to build upon these areas of interest moving forward? 

These first two years are about building a strong foundation for what’s to come, and I’m honored to guide you all along these first steps of your college journey. In that spirit, I’m here to help you remember the big picture, to connect dots, to be a sounding board, to answer questions and to help you be intentional and reflective about the choices you are making along the way.  

So, as we collectively struggle to figure out what letter day it is, I’ll challenge us by paraphrasing Mary Oliver. In her poem “The Summer Day,” she urges us to pay attention to what’s right in front of us — the grasshopper and the contents of the grass — and asks the rhetorical question, “What is it that you plan to do with this one wild and precious (high school) life?”